What Boat Do You Need to Burn?

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The amazing Danielle LaPorte has offered up this intriguing question as part of her Burning Question Series: 

What boat do you need to burn?

Danielle writes:

There’s a story my friend Pasha told me about about a mythic band of magic-loving Irish folk. Feeling the call for newness, they would forge out to settle on a new island. Necessarily, they would make the journey by ship. When they arrived to their next land they would unpack — and then promptly burn their boats.

No desire to go back. Focused forward. New journey, new way of getting there, new results.

Bodies and Beings

Some rights reserved by Tibei Chingiz

Lots of thoughts jumbling around in my head these past few weeks, and, of course, I've been so busy that I haven't had time to write.

It's interesting how certain discussion clouds will float around me...sometimes, people are talking about politics a lot, and I notice...and sometimes they're talking about ethics a lot, and I notice...or fashion, or pop culture, or whatever.

Lately, people have been talking about bodies, and about aging, and about self worth, and I'm noticing. I have a ton to say on this topic and not a lot of time to write...and that's maddening.

Friday Five

Hello my lovelies! I hope Friday has been treating you well!

Things that have been going on:

1. I am glad that the work day is over- it appears my lovely fiance gave me an upper respiratory infection, and I'll definitely be glad to get into bed at the end of the day. I am all kinds of achy and full of sniffles.

2. I'm mulling over the following Al Anon slogan:  "What other people think of me is none of my business." This is a radical shift. It says to me that I then have to focus on what I think of me, and what I think of others...which makes me think of shifting the meaning of the word "self-centered" away from the concept of selfishness, moving toward being centered in self.

3. I think I'm going to go to the Carnegie Museum of Art and the Carnegie Museum of Natural History this weekend for some food for my soul.

4. This made me laugh today. A Softer World, you had me at hello. The mouseover on this one is great, too, and it makes me hug my little ball of fur just that much tighter.

5. Here's your horoscope from Free Will Astrology. For the Lovely Leos out there, Rob writes:  "I'd love for you to be able to always give the best gifts you have to give without worrying about whether they will be received in the spirit with which you offer them. But that's just not realistic. I would also be ecstatic if you never had to tone down your big, beautiful self out of fear that others would be jealous or intimidated. And yet that's not a rational possibility, either. Having said that, though, I do want to note that now and then both of those pleasurable scenarios can prevail for extended lengths of time. And I believe you're now in one of those grace periods."

Personal Responsibility: Making it Sacred

 Some rights reserved by Tracey Holland

“The  wounding becomes sacred when we are willing to release our old stories and to become the vehicles through which the new story may emerge into time. When we fail to do this, we repeat the same old story over and over again.” ~ Jean Houston

I was all set to sit down and write a post about personal responsibility tonight...but I've just gotten home from witnessing a friend's reading of her memoir at Duquesne University, and I want to write about that experience. Maybe I'll really end up writing about personal responsibility after all...I guess we'll see by the end of the post, right?

To Light the Fire, To Tend the Well

Semele by John Duncan (1921)

Imbolc is one of my favorite holidays. I have always been drawn to Brighid, and she was the first Goddess I pledged myself to in service. This holiday also marks the anniversary of my Reclaiming Initiation (January 30th marked two years), the anniversary of my decision to show myself that I mean business.

"Meaning business" has meant so many things over the past two years. It has shown up in decisions to unravel old patterns and leave old associations behind. It has show up in my courting joy and my desire to define my life outside of victimhood. It has show up in my writing and my loving and my return to slow, calm breathing when the going gets tough.

The past year has been especially challenging. I've been weaving the pleasant with the unpleasant and learning to live within both. I'm finding that, in accepting all of life (even the shittier, scarier parts) I'm actually living. In giving up trying to be better than, above it, perfect, I'm finding out who I really am, and that person is simultaneously surprising and generally a good egg. In letting the reins go I've found that the horse is better behaved than I could have ever dreamed and knows her way home.

So this year, I'm pledging to Brighid that I will be real, even when that is messy...that I will be myself, even when it's humbling. This year, the focus in "I mean business" has shifted from the "business" to the "I". Real people light the fires, real people tend the wells.

Be Brave

Driving home from the gym this morning, looking at the beautiful full moon hanging in the sky, I'm reminded of this quote:

"It takes courage to anticipate joy." ~Wendy Froud

I'm feeling pretty brave today. I hope you are too.

Wendy Gets Wise

Not in the business of

sewing on shadows

gonna tend my own garden

gonna pluck my own rose.

Ecstatic Witchcraft Workshop in Pittsburgh

Ecstatic Witchcraft: Why Bother?

Interested in witchcraft? Curious about the difference between Ecstatic traditions (Feri, Reclaiming) and British Traditional Witchcraft? We will be hosting a six class workshop that will include:

- introduction to the class, and a brief history of witchcraft/paganism
- a discussion on the myths surrounding paganism
- an overview of major pagan religions (a quick and dirty run-through)
- an overview and discussion of British Traditional Witchcraft and Wicca
- an overview and discussion of Ecstatic Witchcraft (Feri and the Reclaiming Tradition)
- a Reclaiming-style ecstatic ritual

Who should attend: This will be the first of several workshops offered in the Reclaiming Tradition so anyone interested in getting a better understanding of Reclaiming-style witchcraft is encouraged to attend. Those that are curious about paganism are also welcome.

About the instructors:

Lora:  A Reclaiming-identified Witch for over 13 years (and a Pittsburgher for 6!) Lora’s passions are community building, divination, ecstatic ritual, poetry, and whatever good book has currently captured her attention. Committed to teaching in the Pittsburgh pagan community, Lora brings her experiences in leadership training, small group facilitation, trance techniques, and ritual arts to the teaching table.

Pamela:  A non-trad identified Witch since … um, I should know this, huh ... 2000/2001? Focus on the Reclaiming/Feri path since 2009. Practitioner of American Folk Witchcraft encompassing herbs, oils, candles, and whatnots. Co-leader of a local CUUPs group for almost 8 years, co-leader of a monthly Pagan Spirituality class for same. Worked to plan, solicit vendors/advertisers, organize, and track financials of local Spirit Fair for 3 years. Transitional magic surrounding life/death/rebirth and transformational magic particularly working with shadow energy are my areas of grace. I believe laughter is one of our most effective magical tools.

When: 

Sundays, January 22nd, 29th, February 5th, 19th, 26th, and March 4th

Time: 2-5pm

Where: private residence, South Hills area

Fee per class: $10 per class, or $50 if paid in one up-front installment

***Deadline for registration: Wednesday, January 18th***

Things to Bring to Class:
- Paganism: An Introduction to Earth-Centered Religions by River and Joyce Higginbotham
- water bottle
- notebook and pen
- a curious attitude and an open mind

Workshop participants are expected to attend all classes. Space is limited, first come, first served! 

Interested? Email witches2brew@gmail.com with the following:

- preferred name and contact information
- a short paragraph on three things that brought you to your current tradition/spiritual path
- a short paragraph on two things that keep you in your current tradition/spiritual path
- a short statement on what interests you about the class or paganism in general

Codependency: My Constant Companion

Every time I have the desire to reach out to mend the fence, I remember that you've never been good at meeting me half way. Every time I want to make the another effort, I have to remind myself, stop myself, protect myself and my energy.

Bridges are effective when they're built from both sides.

Poetry Whoo Hoo!

Poetry published in MUST! W00t w00t!

Where have I been?

I've been writing a poem a day, that's where I've been. I'll resurface with a post after November is over, sweetings!

The Stop-Doing List

I love the idea of a Stop-Doing List. I am the sort of person that can get pulled in many different directions, losing focus and energy. My plan is to observe my life, noticing over time what to add to this list, hopefully having something comprehensive by the end of the year. Thus far, I have the following items/topics on my Stop Doing List:

1. Checking my email and Facebook accounts multiple times a day

This is pretty much a no-brainer, but if I'm not paying close enough attention, I can spend an extraordinary amount of time checking my email and Facebook accounts during the day. I especially notice that this is a time-sink in the morning before work.

2. Maintaining/investing in relationships that are not reciprocal

It's been an interesting year, one that has included a lot of changes in my behaviors and habits surrounding my relationships to others. With those shifts, relationships that were less than healthy, less than reciprocal, less than fulfilling have fallen to the wayside, and that seems natural and right and still, a little sad. It's been an eye-opener to realize that some relationships don't thrive, that my effort alone cannot/should not sustain unhealthy behavior patterns, and that a two-way street is really my most comfortable route when it comes to choosing companions, friends, and acquaintances. It's time to really put my money where my mouth is and only put my focus on positive, sustaining relationships that make me feel nourished and positive about life.

3. Eating foods that make me sick

I've been struggling with a lot of allergies lately, and I'm starting to suspect that a food allergy might be the culprit. Over the next few months, I'm going to attempt to weed out two main allergens that I suspect are contributing to my physical misery, dairy and wheat. I use the word "attempt" because we are in the High Holy Season of Butter and Baked Goods from now until January 1st. I'm not going to make myself miserable attempting some sort of full-on dietary conversion before the first of 2012, but I am going to take steps toward eating foods that I know will help me to feel energized and won't exacerbate my asthma and eczema.

I'm sure I'll add more items to the list, but this seems like a good start. Have you ever thought of making a Stop-Doing List? Can you name off a few things that would be on that list? If so, share your list in the comments!

NoPoeMo

It's officially NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month...but I'm not participating, as I have no desire to write a novel this year.

Instead, I'm going rogue and doing my own thang with my poetry club. We call it NoPoeMo, or November Poetry Month. We've accepted the challenge to write one poem a day, each day during the month of November. The poems don't have to be good, and we're not allowed to edit them during the month of November. At the end of the month, I should have 30 rough drafts of poems, which sounds pretty flippin' sweet to me.

What creative pursuits have you been pursuing lately? Tell me in the comments!

Morning Thought

You need no
permission
to love and
be loved.
You are breathing.
It is enough.

I Has An Epiphany

I'm feeling epiphanated. Yes, that's a made up word - it means "a caffeinated epiphany" - but portmanteau creation is not the point of this post.

I stopped obsessing about romantic relationships in the summer of 2008. I took a year-and-a-day off of being focused on finding the Other, and instead, found myself. I went to therapy, broke many unhealthy relationship patterns, and learned that I loved being single. Now, four years later, I am in a healthy relationship that is headed toward marriage.

Many things changed in that sphere of my life, but all those changes can be boiled down to this: I let go of obsession and control.

Now that I'm working in a 12-Step Program for codependency, I realize I embraced the first three steps in that area of my life. I definitely admitted that my life had become unmanageable, I came to believe a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity, and I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the Gods. I didn't know it at the time, but for that year, I let those steps work on me.

So, back to epiphany: what if...what if I applied that same formula to other areas of my life that are unmanageable? What if I let go of obsession and control about employment/profession/following my bliss, or with physical health/weight gain? What if I decided to give up obsessing and trying to control in these areas?

I can say this: obsessing and trying to control in these areas of my life hasn't gotten me very far, and still, it's scary as fuck to say ok to letting go and letting life work on me. I stopped looking for a romantic relationship, not on a whim, but as a very specific challenge given to me by my spiritual mentor. Deciding to do this on my own, without "permission" from anyone else, would be a big step toward owning my own true power and releasing my death grip on life*.

I'm right on the edge of this, about to jump. It's just about time for another deep change.




*(more on why I have a death grip in a forthcoming post, "The Fourth Step and How It Socked My Nose Though I Was Intellectually Unconvinced of its Efficacy")